ShmOCD

I have this disorder where I have to wash my hands all the time, like 20 times a day. I think it's called necrophilia.

But seriously, it's kind of related to OCD, but with me its every time I hear a celebrity talking about their apparent "OCD", I want to slap them in the face. You don't have OCD, you're just an actor. That means you have too much money and too much time. "Gee, I just got paid $8 million for 3 months of pretending. What should I do now?.... I wonder how many tiles are in my bathroom." That's not OCD.

I have OCD moreso than any celebrity, with the exception of that glove loving baldie Howie Mandel. With my disorder I have to check the toilet paper after every time I wipe my ass. If there's something on there, I wipe again, if it's clean, then I'm done, and all I have to do is tuck that baby back onto the roll for next time. It's recycling, I'm saving the world. It's a good thing so I dont think it should be called a disorder. In fact, they're trying to change the name right now, but they can't decide what to call it. They first changed it to "Anal Recyling Syndrome" but the gays heard about it and we had a lawsuit on our hands.